It solely feels just like the Champions League is late in returning for its knockout stage, however that is the traditional time of 12 months. What isn’t regular is cramming a World Cup in between the group levels and the knockouts, which makes it seem to be this season has already gone on perpetually even when most leagues are solely at their midway stage. The density has us all exhausted.

Additionally having already white-knuckled our approach via a World Cup means there’s somewhat little bit of shine taken off doing so once more with the Champions League. Yearly, that is usually the highest-pressure ambiance, with worldwide tournaments saved for the summer time. This time, the Champions League is bumping up towards the ultimate acts of Argentina-Holland or the Last in our minds, and we might not be as blown away when PSG moist themselves in harm time of a second leg once more (it’ll nonetheless be humorous as shit although).

So the place are we? How did we get right here? Is that this our stunning spouse? Allow us to fill you in:

Isn’t this simply the standard suspects round once more?

Yeah. Except you contemplate Barcelona a traditional suspect. Do the previous two seasons low cost them from that? That’s a private selection. Anyway, they’re not right here. And Juventus have mainly pushed their nostril via their mind given the ferocity of their faceplant each on and off the sector. However aside from them, sure, all 4 Premier League individuals are within the spherical of 16, together with Munich, PSG, and Actual Madrid.

So one of many traditional suspects goes to win it, proper?

Effectively, most likely. However this time round there are extra weaknesses than there have been. Not one of the traditional crew seems to be unbeatable. PSG simply received their ass handed to them within the league by Monaco after shedding to Marseille within the French Cup. Neymar is bitching once more, and Kylian Mbappé isn’t wholesome.

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They also have Munich in this round, thanks to not being able to win their group over Benfica. Munich are the bookies’ favorite at the moment, but their form in the Bundesliga has been, by their standards, kinda ropey. They drew three straight games before winning last weekend, and find themselves in an honest-to-goodness title race. They’ve missed not having automatic-goal Robert Lewandowski around, Sadio Mané has been ouchy, and they can find themselves unable to turn their possession dominance into tangible measures on the scoreboard.

Manchester Metropolis have their off-field points as properly, although Pep Guardiola would love nothing greater than to show that into some type of rallying cry to lastly get them over the hump in Europe. They tried that a few years in the past, the final time they have been below investigation (and this being a plural tells you numerous) and misplaced the ultimate to Chelsea. On the sector, Metropolis haven’t seemed unstoppable both, with Erling Haaland placing up online game numbers and but nonetheless being one thing of a wonky cog within the beforehand buzzing Metropolis machine. Their midfield has gotten somewhat outdated, and they are often countered at velocity due to that and Haaland’s presence depriving them of one other in midfield.

Liverpool…properly, let’s not even discuss them. Chelsea are a complete new staff from even the group stage and for the time being appear to be a bunch of components that didn’t congeal right into a meal. If they will grasp round lengthy sufficient within the competitors perhaps they’ll come collectively, however that’s an precise, sizable if proper now.

Actual Madrid are getting dog-walked within the La Liga title race by Barcelona, and so they’ve seemed pedestrian in entrance of objective rather a lot. Karim Benzema isn’t the drive he was final season, and now there are rumors that supervisor Carlo Ancelotti could fuck off to take the Brazil nationwide staff job.

However doesn’t that imply Madrid are going to win anyway as a result of they’re at their greatest when issues are most messy?

Sadly, sure. Nonetheless, they’re making an attempt to show over that midfield that might get them out of any jam final season to a brand new technology, and it hasn’t been a clean course of (the Fels Motherfuck magic, child!). Shit, Eduardo Camavinga has been used extra usually as a left-back. Perhaps they’re holding Luka Modrić and Toni Kroos in reserve for the Champions League particularly, and with Barcelona disappearing over the hills within the title race they might concentrate on profitable this for the 14th time. However there are holes.

So sure, they’re going to win it.

Is there any hope for an outsider?

Sure, and thy title be Napoli. As coated closely right here, Napoli are the brand new heavy metallic soccer on the scene. They’re destroying Serie A, and will have the Scudetto of their pocket earlier than the semifinals of the Champions League. They’ve received a sweetheart draw within the Spherical of 16 with Eintracht Frankfurt, and can see one of many huge boys of PSG or Munich chunk the mud (if you wish to argue that one other huge boy in Liverpool or Madrid may also eat it, fantastic, however have you ever seen Liverpool this season?).

There’s additionally the sense that that is the one shot this staff will get to make some critical noise in Europe, because the vultures will come in the summertime to lavish the membership with money whereas taking away their greatest gamers. Georgian winger Khvicha Kvaratskhelia (you possibly can simply name him “Kvaradona,” as all of Naples does) and Nigerian striker Victor Osimhen are nearly definitely headed for greener pastures after the season given the provides they might generate. It’s now or by no means, and with the standard beasts having vulnerabilities, why the fuck not?

Benfica would have at the very least been on the “price watching” record earlier than they offered Enzo Fernandez to Chelsea, however in addition they have a good Spherical of 16 draw towards Membership Brugge. And when you’re within the quarters, absolutely anything can occur.

Every other names price conserving monitor of?

With AC Milan’s automotive coming aside this season in a real Daffy Duck-like vogue, Rafael Leão most likely isn’t lengthy for the San Siro both. They’ll be going through one other basket case of a staff in Spurs within the Spherical of 16. Solely Tottenham may go from deservedly beating Metropolis at residence one week to getting their dicks knocked within the grime by Leicester Metropolis the subsequent. Anyway, Leão has been in Italy what Vinicius Jr. has been in Spain, a terrifying left-sided, right-footed ahead who tears defenses aside together with his direct dribbling and velocity. He’d been related to Chelsea perpetually, although, with their current spree, there might not be room for him anymore. Nonetheless seems like he’ll be transferring on to larger and higher quickly.

Jamal Musiala is Munich’s and Germany’s scorching new factor, and he’s been the very best participant on Bayern in a season the place a whole lot of their vets have gone off the boil a contact. Can play about six totally different positions and is a ballet dancer with the ball at his ft round or within the opposition penalty space, wriggling free to get himself open for clear pictures or to arrange a teammate.

There’s additionally Dortmund’s Jude Bellingham, whom you’ve most likely heard of or seen you probably have a Liverpool supporter in your life as he’ll be on the middle of an altar they’ve constructed of their lounge, praying to nightly within the hopes that he’ll save the Anfield facet from the recent hell they’re careening into. He just about single-handedly dragged Dortmund out of the group stage with 4 targets and an help, and that’s from midfield. He’s a complete midfield onto himself, and is just 19, and has Metropolis, Madrid, and Liverpool doing all types of unspeakable issues for the appropriate to splurge some $170 million on him in the summertime.

So give you your excuses to duck out of the workplace early on Tuesday and Wednesday afternoons (if you happen to’re even nonetheless going to the workplace), and get able to cope with the sound of Micah Richards laughing to plague you all hours of the evening, and let’s kick this pig.

Comply with Sam on Twitter for barely coherent footy ideas @FelsGate