Folks can generally confuse compatibility with similarity. They search for similarities in character, life-style, political opinions, and different such components to find out whether or not they’re suitable with a possible romantic companion.

However in keeping with licensed marriage therapist Racine Henry, Ph.D., LMFT, having these areas in frequent doesn’t assure compatibility—or concord, for that matter.

“Personally, I don’t imagine a pair has to agree on something,” she just lately instructed mbg. “These may be beginning factors for a bond or assist set up these preliminary emotions of curiosity, however when there’s rigidity or a scarcity of positivity, being from the identical hometown gained’t matter.”

There are occasions when variations could cause tensions in a relationship—for instance, in the event you love spending your down time as a pair whereas your companion usually likes quite a lot of solo time, or in the event you love weekends in and so they love weekends out. These points may be labored by means of, however you might need a better time in relationships the place you have been naturally aligned in these areas. As properly, having differing political opinions or religions (as one other instance) really is a deal-breaker for some folks.

Nevertheless, in the event you’re merely on the lookout for somebody who’s as much like you as potential and utilizing that as a proxy for romantic compatibility, you might be overlooking the components that truly matter most in terms of discovering a relationship that works long-term.