All-Star Saturday has at all times had cookout vibes, and McClung earned one other invite for subsequent yr. However somebody needed to deliver the unseasoned cole slaw. Karl Malone’s presence as an envoy and a decide who bought solely too many nods from the NBA and the published made issues means too awkward. Malone — who impregnated a 12-year-old whereas he was at Lousiana Tech and by some means averted statutory rape costs earlier than embarking on a profession that had him second place on the all-time scoring record — is the NBA’s residing Ty Cobb. As annoying as John Stockton could also be, the NBA in all probability ought to have prolonged the invite to him as an alternative.

The complete Expertise competitors has by no means actually caught on and was a bore. Utah’s gamers went out within the first spherical in order that they wouldn’t break a sweat and Jordan Clarkson ought to have simply gone by means of the impediment course in denims. Adam Silver has by no means actually prompt an alternate for the occasion as a result of that’s in all probability the portion of the weekend when he’s both capable of catch some Zs or pour one again in his company suite.

Julius Randle’s grand opening, grand closing

Outdoors of the elephant within the room and the abilities comp, the 2 Knickerbockers gave New York a nasty rap. Julius Randle’s late addition to the 3-Level Competitors as a alternative for Anfernee Simons, who suffered a Grade 2 ankle sprain on Tuesday evening, was an pointless last-minute panic mistake by the league.

There have been already greater than sufficient heavy hitters to make up for Simons’ exit. Damian Lillard carried the present, however Randle was simply there as a seat filler. You understand the volunteers at award reveals who occupy empty chairs til celebrities get again from backstage or the toilet? Randle is an All-Star, however within the 3-Level Contest, he was your everyman.

To his credit score, the Knicks ahead is taking pictures 33 p.c from distance this season, a far cry from the 41 p.c he made throughout his outlier contract yr. He’s a decent shooter, however a 3-point contest is a unique beast. Randle by no means had an opportunity and he landed with a thud, rolled just a few occasions, and bought sucked right into a ravine, scoring 13 factors. His son, watching from close by seats, was caught completely distraught on the sight of Randle’s brick-house atrocity, capturing by some means the existential dread of supporting the Knicks in any endeavor.

G/O Media might get a fee

Available Now

Samsung Galaxy S23 Series

Free $100 credit or gift card.
Samsung’s newest line of Galaxy phones—the S23 Ultra, S23+, and S23—are available now. Receive a free $100 credit or gift card with your purchase.

But the lowest bar from the 3-Point Contest wasn’t even Randle. It was Kevin “Red Velvet” Huerter, who made us all gasp when he scored an eight.

Jericho Sims doesn’t know what to do with his elbows

In the main event, Jericho Sims stood out from his peers McClung, Kenyon Martin Jr., and Trey Murphy. He was one of the stiffer bigs that gets jammed into this event every few years. Dwight Howard is the patron saint of Slam Dunk Contest giants, but Javale McGee dunking on two rims on two completely different stanchions in a single leap whereas throwing a ball off the backboard doesn’t get sufficient love as probably the best slam dunk contest feats of all-time. It’s exhausting to get enthusiastic about seeing somebody with a 7-foot-3 wingspan rise up. Howard understood theatrics.

Sims ran smack dab into it with not one, however two dunks demonstrating that he may match his elbow within the rim. Bear in mind the primary time you realized you had a primary expertise, so that you needed to present it off to everybody even when they have been getting sick of it, however it was cool as a result of no one wished to squash your childlike exuberance? That’s how the judges handled Sims. He was impressed by it and no one else was, however they clapped as a result of the vibes have been cool.

To start with, on his second try, he had a henchman from PriceWaterhouseCoopers clip an envelope to the underside of the web. With a easy run-up, Sims flushed a primary dunk, opened the envelope, and gave himself a 50. I haven’t seen an envelope containing extra misinformation since Warren Beatty by chance gave La La Land the Oscar for Greatest Image.

On Sims’ first try, the Knicks middle threw a self-pass off the backboard and threw it down with two elbows within the rim for added emphasis. Even upon additional assessment, Sims solely caught his left wrist into the rim after which tried to finesse his elbow inside whereas he hung as if the backboard weren’t clear and he wasn’t surrounded by hi-def TNT cameras watching him attempt to trick the judges in slow-mo. It earned him a 47.8.

And for the second dunk, the Knicks middle went viral for all of the incorrect causes. Kenny Smith referred to as it “weak” and the remainder of the world was simply perplexed. Someway the judges awarded Sims a 47.8, which fits to point out that the blame for participation awards belongs to the boomers and Gen Xers who raised millennials.